An Entire Lifetime
The template is set. Will you end up like everyone else?
Society built a template for your life long before you were born.
In the Western world, it looks something like this:
Age 0: You're born.
Age 5: You start K-12 school. Try to get good grades and to not get shot.
Age 18: You finish K-12 school. You're told to go to college for the low, low price of six-figures, plus interest.
Age 22 or so: You somehow finish college, managing a B+ average between weekend blackout sessions. Now, it's time to get a job in the field you studied. Any job that keeps you from literally jumping off a bridge will do.
Age 28 or so: You trudge through the first years of being a novice in your field and finally settle into that nice, corporate gig. You do this every day so that you can make money. This money affords getting married, having kids, buying a house, going on a two-week vacation to the coast once a year, and generally try to keep your belongings on par with your neighbor. Meanwhile, don't forget to squirrel away as much as possible for retirement!
Age 65: Retirement! Bliss! Now, you can do all those wonderful things you dreamt of since you were 22. Only 43 years in! What a deal!
Congratulations! You made it! Let's take a look at your utopian existence.
At the time of this writing, the AVERAGE life expectancy in America is 78 years. So, if you're like the average human, you'll get 13 years of this ideal life in retirement. Now, that's just life expectancy, of course. Most people slow down physically and mentally in the latter stages of life. So, let's say that means you have until 75 to remain physically capable of comfortably climbing stairs and having a walk in the sunshine. This is if you've taken care of yourself all along, of course.
So, we land on roughly 10 years of "the good life" that you worked 43 years to attain. Again, this is the average. You could be like several of my friends' parents, who never lived to see their 65th birthday.
Despite the efforts of all of those joyous Fidelity commercials showing you smiling on your sailboat at age 65, you feel a bit depressed, don't you? This is the scenario you sacrificed all these years for? This is the payoff?
Oh, and by the way, one more little pick-me-up for you: most Americans never actually retire by 65. Pay attention next time you're running errands. How many people managing the check-out lines, the ordering counters, the retail stores are over the retirement age?
You'll be surprised once you start paying attention. When they were dreaming about their future at the age of 25, do you think they envisioned working a scanner at the local grocery when they were 65, just so they could afford to pay the bills necessary to live an average life? Was that really their plan? If only they could go back and do things differently.
Which brings us to you. Young, vibrant, full-of-possibilities, YOU. You have something these 65-year olds no longer have: time. You can begin making choices now that will compound and determine your future. And, make no mistake: compound interest is working all the time either for you or against you.
The question is, are you going to follow the same template as everyone else?
If you do, don't be upset when you're the 65-year-old working weekends at whatever future version of Kohl's still exists. Gross. If you’d rather not end up like that, then you better learn a new template that gives you what you ultimately want in life. Let's have a little look.
First, read this carefully and carve it into your mind:
You were not put here to be a cog in someone else's machine. You were not created to be a drone who acts like everyone else and, therefore, ends up like everyone else. You were not created to be a meaningless blip on the course of human history. You were not created to live a life of servitude to lower-self indulgences that set you back from a life of abundance, fulfillment, and peace.
You were created to make the most of this gift of life. You were created to become your most abundant and capable self. You were created to be a light for others. You were created to be a creative force in your own right, advancing and lifting all of civilization one more step.
You must begin with understanding what you have in this gift of life. It doesn't last forever! It goes so damn fast, and it's unbearable for many on their deathbed while they wonder "where did it go?" and would do anything for just one more day.
Want the ultimate eye-opener? Go to a nursing home. Visit with people in their waning years of life. Read books from those who have spent time with people who are dying. Learn from their tales. Gain perspective from their experiences. You'll find remarkable similarities: Life is a gift that goes quickly. They wish they would have pursued what they really wanted. They never think about all that "stuff" that they worked so hard to afford, then eventually threw away.
You must learn from this, and gain a clear vision of what you really have. Your life is yours, and yours alone. You have options! You can reject the notion that you have forever. You can reject any notion that you can't live how you wish. You can reject all the fear-mongers and naysayers who want nothing more than for you to remain a cog in their machine. You can reject the other birds who will scream at you as you fly from the cage.
Above all: YOU CAN CHOOSE TO NOT END UP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. You are built for something greater. You're not going out like those people who regret their past. You're going to arrive at death's door having lived a rich, full, incredible life, knowing you squeezed every last drop out of this gift and are overjoyed that you had the opportunity to ride the ride.
It's critical for you to connect your current actions with a longer-term perspective. The pace of modern life, the demands of your time, the expectations of others, the lower-self urges that well up, the greasy fingers constantly reaching toward you - grabbing and pulling, desperate to gain hold of any ounce of your time and energy...
You must fight them all like your life depends on it, because it does. You must define a higher purpose for your life that fixates your mind on what you really want in life. And, only you can answer that.
Take the time to figure out what you really want. Take the time to understand what assets you have at your disposal. Figure out the hard work and sacrifices required. Carve out your next steps, no matter how small.
List out the threats to your vision: your stagnant friends, your overbearing parents, the expectations society places on you, the people who will say you sold out, the losers who will criticize you as you move on, the politician who says you can't do it because you're the wrong skin color or gender, the religious leader who says you're living for worldly concerns, the devil in your subconscious who feasts on fear and wants you to remain in place. Take whatever attitude you need in order to see this list for what it is and remove them from consideration.
You will learn to understand what self-respect looks like. You will learn to understand what it means to put all your chips on you and you alone. You will understand what it means to place your own life's desires above the desires of others.
Look, I know this might be difficult at first. You might think this is a selfish attitude. You might feel a massive amount of resistance to this idea. You can simply choose to keep passively playing others' games. That's fine, but don't be upset when you end up just like everyone else who plays this game. If you want something different, you need to reframe your attitude toward what it means to live your best life. Then, make the tough choices to get on the path toward what you really want.
My personal take is that life is a gift and that many people completely squander it from start to finish, never finding themselves with the resources to do the most good. For me, this is the greatest sin of all.
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Take action:
Sit quietly for 10 minutes, thinking of nothing other than what you really want out of life.
Imagine yourself late in life, on your deathbed. What will you wish you would have done?
Living a life unlike everyone else will invite criticism. You can either succumb to this fear, or get what you really want. List out anyone and anything that would resist your desire to be your full self.
You are worthy of the life you want. Close your eyes and repeat this at least 10 times, slowly and patiently.
List out what you're willing to sacrifice for what you want.