Hacking Solomon’s Paradox: Solopreneur Insights, Vol. 14
You know how it’s easy to give advice to others, but difficult to follow the EXACT SAME advice for ourselves?
This phenomenon is called “Solomon’s Paradox.”
We cannot defeat it.
But, there are simple ways to work around it.
What is Solomon’s Paradox?
Solomon’s Paradox describes how we can see other people’s problems more clearly than our own. It’s named after King Solomon, who was renowned for his wise advice, but failed to follow it himself.
Think of the Paradox as a filter on your mind. Like frosted window film, it makes it extremely difficult to clearly see through. This filter leads to several outcomes that are not beneficial:
We limit our potential
When we spend months tangled up in our own minds, we lack a clear vision for our next steps. Aside from the frustration and hopeless feeling, the lost time accumulates. We spend our time in a vague mental battle, which leads to missed opportunities.
We feel stress, frustration, and doubt
Even when we “know” what needs to be done, we feel resistance that keeps us from acting. This creates stressful cognitive dissonance that leads to frustration. Eventually, we feel disappointment in ourselves, and begin to doubt our ability to take the correct action. These are all forms of poison along our journey.
We ultimately undermine our credibility
If we’re not able to follow our own advice, we lose credibility with others. Worse, we lose credibility with OURSELVES. It’s nearly impossible to operate from a position of confident leadership when, deep down, we don’t trust ourselves.
Defeat the Paradox?
First, I want you to understand the simple truth: You can’t defeat Solomon’s Paradox.
At least, not directly.
Why?
Because, you cannot transcend our own cumulative experiences. This basically describes the “filter” I mentioned earlier. Yes, you can improve your situation with exercises that help you form a greater level of self-awareness. But, hallucinogens aside, you can never completely separate yourself from yourself. The mechanism in your brain that prevents you from doing this is the same mechanism that facilitates Solomon’s Paradox.
Is all hope lost? Of course not.
Instead of trying to defeat it, you’re going to learn how to hack Solomon’s Paradox and use it to your advantage.
Hacking the Paradox
You may not be able to get out of your own head. But, guess who can?
Literally EVERYONE else.
But, not just ANYONE else.
You need to find the right person. Here’s what that looks like:
Trustworthy partners
The most direct and effective way to work around the Paradox is to find a trustworthy partner who can clearly see the situations that seem cloudy to you.
After all, this is how you hack the whole system: If they can see your problems clearly when you can't, then let them do it. All you have to do is follow their instructions!
Just imagine it! Instead of getting tangled up in your own mental mess for months, you could just ask, “What should I do next?” and get the right answer immediately.
This would be a superpower.
What makes a partner “trustworthy?”
They have your best interests at heart
They have experience solving challenges you’re trying to solve
They understand they’re playing the role of your Solomon’s Paradox hacking partner
You might have someone like this already in your life. If so, talk to them about this and ask them to help you! Even if it’s just an experiment for a month, get started.
For me, these people are my wife, my father, my best friend, and my coaches. They keep me focused and action-oriented. I’m telling you: if there’s ever a life hack, this is it.
Speaking of coaches… When it comes down to it, helping you hack Solomon’s Paradox is one of the most important roles a coach will play for you. You often “know” what needs to be done. But, you need to unlock the power of hearing it from the outside. A great coach identifies the next most important task and keeps you focused on that. Why do you think all high performers have coaches?
Making it work
There are two critical points you need to understand before we wrap this up.
You must be honest about what you want
You must be ready to act
You may not know exactly what you want before working with your trusted partner. That’s OK. In fact, they can help you gain clarity on this quickly. But, you must be honest. You cannot tell them you want something you don’t or pretend you don’t want something that you actually do. They’re going to help you get what you say you want, so it better align with what you actually want.
Finally, you better be ready to act. Nothing will kill this process faster than your partner telling you EXACTLY what you need to do, and you chicken out and make excuses. You’re finally being handed a map with the exact path to your treasure. But, maps can’t walk for you. Take the first step, then take the next. After a few weeks, your life will look very different.
– Torrey
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Visit my website: torreydawley.com
Need a partner to hack the Paradox?
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